• Exchange ideas and strategies for overcoming life challenges
• Hold each other accountable in a supportive environment
• Gain perspective on your own struggles by speaking and listening regularly
• Explore different viewpoints through diverse personalities and backgrounds
• See yourself through the eyes of others and gain personal insight
• Find inspiration and practical strategies from hearing how others overcome challenges
• Build an emotional support system
• Develop communication and socialization skills
• Learn how to express concerns and accept constructive feedback
• Increase self-awareness by listening to others with similar experiences

Support groups and group therapy can be valuable for almost anyone whether you’re facing a major life change, living with a mental health condition, or simply looking for a sense of belonging. Groups can focus on specific concerns (like parenting, ADHD, over thinking, or addiction) or offer a more general space for emotional well-being. In addition to gaining an emotional support system, these sessions provide an opportunity to develop communication and socialization skills. This allows individuals to learn how to express their issues and accept criticism from others. Developing self-awareness skills can arise from listening to others with similar struggles. You don’t have to walk your healing journey by yourself. In both peer-led support groups and therapist-guided group therapy, there’s strength in shared experience. Often, simply being in a space, with others who truly understand can spark deeper connection, self-compassion, and resilience.

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Written by: Jason Lavery

A challenge to the idea of free will is what I’d like the reader to consider. Or to be more specific the free component of that claim. Freedom seems to be something we all cherish but upon close examination do we in fact find anything to be free in our experience? This is to say that all things have a cost, and some costs are worth paying while others are not. And so, when we speak of freedom, I suppose we really mean to say getting more of what we want and less of what we don’t want!

That aside, let’s examine the free component of the claim. As a matter of your first-person experience is there anything you can imagine outside of your causal existence that has placed you right here, right now, reading this? That is to say, can you somehow extract yourself from everything that has brought you to this moment and create something outside of your experience, i.e. a truly original thing? Are things not always in relation to other things and whatever you have to offer a continuation (albeit different but nonetheless connected) to everything that has been before?

This brings us to the matter of your will or more personally stated your sense of self. Do you find yourself difficult to motivate, unpredictable, tired, hungry, bored? Whatever it is that we are it is “no thing” it cannot be captured by objectification. Hence the challenges we have with motivating ourselves along linear lines. One aspect of your psyche decides on a path of action and then the others, whether conscious or unconscious chime in to offer their contributions! I’m not making the case that there isn’t something to be valued in goal-directed behaviour. What I am saying is that the ‘free’ component of the puzzle is an illusion. Worse, it is an illusion that causes unnecessary suffering. Consider the Buddhist principle of the first and second arrow. The first arrow is unavoidable and represents the inherent pain of human life. While the second arrow (our response to pain) offers a more optional type of suffering manifesting as our tendency towards confusion, projection, shame and othering.

What I am offering here is another option. Whatever has brought you to this moment is exactly what was meant to be in that you are in fact here. This is an inescapable reality and refusing to accept blocks progress. If you’d like to improve upon this current situation the most empowering stance you can take is first and foremost acceptance. It must be said however that acceptance and resignation are not the same thing. The acceptance I speak of here has at its core a quality of gratitude. While resignation is at its core a rejection of what is (an assumption that there is nothing of value to be redeemed/ harnessed).

You are in relation to things (people, culture, yourself, nature, etc.) and you have inherent value and so do the things you relate to. What might there be to learn when considering that reality? Assuming that there is nothing to learn from yourself and others blocks progress and builds polarization. Its opposite builds compassion for self and others which arises from the recognition of connection and that recognition is the necessary precondition for any sustainable change. Its alternative devolves into villainizing both self and others. So next time you make a ‘mistake’ consider who is this self that has made this mistake? And be on guard against the tendency to want to smuggle today’s insights into the past, as if they were somehow at hand then. Instead bring true curiosity, a defining feature of any unproductive conflict is a lack of curiosity. Whatever action arises from this attitude of curiosity and gratitude connects rather than divides and it seems we are in dire need of connection currently.

References

Sapolsky, R. M. (2023). Determined: A science of life without free will. Penguin Press.

Jung, C. G. (1958). The undiscovered self. Little, Brown.

The Buddhist Parable of Two Arrows. https://dianapartington.com/portfolio/dbt-group-notes-the-two-arrows-of-pain-and-suffering/

Brach, T. (2003). Radical Acceptance. New York, NY: Bantam.

Schwartz, R.C. (2020) No bad parts. Louisville, CO: Sounds True.

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What are some things that come to mind when you think of practicing art therapy?

Do you imagine a therapist peering into one your drawings, making interpretations about what that drawing might mean, or about your emotional state?

Do you imagine you have to be a trained, highly capable artist to get anything valuable out of the process?

I mention these potential assumptions because they are commonly held misconceptions about what art therapy is and who it might be for.

Art therapy can be practiced by individuals at all levels of technical artistic ability to great emotional and psychological benefit. And though art making is an essential and central component of the discipline, fundamentally, what is most important are the relational elements of the practice (Feldwisch, 2022). This means that the cultivation and development of deep connections between the client, their art creations, and the therapist are regarded as especially significant in the art therapy process (Feldwisch, 2022). So, rather than a therapist peppering you with fanciful interpretations of your work, you can expect many questions regarding your creations such as:

• What emotions came up for you as you were creating?
• What memories and associations come up now as you reflect on your art creation?
• In what ways do you feel connected to your art piece?

In contemporary art therapy, the meanings of an artwork are explored in a collaborative manner—a process of discovery facilitated by the therapist and led by the client (Feldwisch, 2022). What’s fascinating about this process is that clients can often end up encoding and expressing many deep feelings and thoughts in art that they would have difficulty accessing by way of simply using words.

In my undergraduate years while studying psychology, I got to be intensely curious about the reading and writing of poetry; so much so that, immediately after undergrad, I went on to do a Master of Fine Arts program at the University of Oregon with a concentration on creative writing. Later, after finishing up in Oregon and while studying to be psychotherapist here in Ontario—inevitably and unsurprisingly—I found myself drawn to investigate the overlap between art making and psychotherapy. As a result of my exploration, I found there was rich history and deep connection between both practices.

The famed and influential psychoanalyst Carl Jung was among the first to advocate for using art as means of self-exploration and insight into one’s inner thoughts and feelings (Feldwisch, 2022). He encouraged his clients to use the technique of ‘active imagination,’ both in and outside of sessions, which he himself engaged in as well (Feldwisch, 2022). This particular technique involves drawing, painting, or sculpting etc. from a place of inner calm, without self-judgement, interruption, and editing on the part of the conscious mind. This allows one to actively engage and participate in the process that reveals unconscious material, stimulates self-discovery, and promotes mental well-being.
Feldwisch (2022) suggests a number of experiential artistic exercises that involve active imagination, one of which I’ll list here. Feel free to try it and take stock of what arises in you!

Create your own scribble drawing by holding a drawing material in your hand (or perhaps nondominant hand) and moving your arm freely on the page for around 15 s. Take several minutes to examine your scribble, step back, maybe squint your eyes and wait for an image to reveal itself. Once you’ve identified an image, use your materials to bring forth and embellish your image (p. 231).

References
Feldwisch, R. P. (2022). History, profession, and ethics of art therapy. In Foundations of art therapy : theory and applications (pp. 3–30). chapter, Elsevier.

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By Summer Burnett

Narrative practice involves the use of uncovering the stories about our lives.

Here are some ways I find this approach helpful with the clients I see:

• Understand our stories: People have their own stories which are derived from their experiences, social locations and perceptions of themselves. Often, these stories affect each other and become apart of the way we present ourselves to others, how we see ourselves, and influence how we will think, act and feel in the future. Thus, it is crucial to understand our stories and to acknowledge what circumstances played roles in the outcomes, what stories are helpful and which ones may be harmful to ourselves or creating challenges in our lives.
• Non-blaming approach: Narrative practice can help people explore these stories without blaming the person for their lived experiences which can contribute to harmful feelings of shame and guilt. It is the belief through this lens that people are not their problems but that the problems are external from who the individual is.
• Externalization: After identifying and exploring aspects of the persons story, we can begin to externalize people from their problems. Externalization is meant to distance the persons sense of self from their problems or behaviours they may want to change.  Only through observing ourselves through retelling our stories can we begin to understand how our behaviours, thoughts and feelings about our experiences are derived and acknowledge the circumstances outside of our control.  This action cannot be taken through self-criticism and blame since these feelings imply sole responsibility or a problem derived from the persons self, regardless of external factors.
• Reauthoring: This opens the door to explore the possibilities of shifting one’s narrative or reauthoring the story from beliefs such as “I am a bad person, I do not like who I am, I am a failure” to more constructive narratives. For example, “I made a mistake, I do not like how I handled that situation, I did not preform my best, I want to do better”.
  • Deconstruction: This form of reauthoring can be done through externalizing the problems and then engaging in deconstruction of the story. This process of deconstruction involves breaking down the story piece by piece, acknowledging the situation as a chain of events within contexts in which all factors have an influence on the outcome of the story.

As a therapist, I engage in a narrative approach when working with a variety of people who experience and may be prone to internalizing their stories as a reflection of a character flaw within themselves. Some of these populations include neurodivergent individuals, members of the LGBTQIA2S+ community, and people who experience interpersonal violence.  People within all these groups commonly experience explicit and implicit narratives within their lives which suggest they are different from others and that they need to adapt themselves to be accepted. Narrative therapy can be a way in which to empower people who experience these harmful social narratives through externalizing and deconstructing these belief systems which are forced upon them.

In a world in which no two stories could ever hope to be the same the pressures to mold oneself into the image of others remains.  Through working together to explore these incongruent expectations I hope to help others reauthor their own stories to fit the mold of themselves.

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Strategies for Finding Meaningful Connection: Reading Materials

To address the unique challenges that ADHD presents in maintaining effective intimate relationships, consider exploring the following reading material:

Join our ADHD Support Group “Focus Foragers” to connect virtually with other ADHDers for our sessions taking place at noon on the first Saturday of each month.

Maintaining Effective Intimate Relationships: Pera, G. (2014). Counseling Couples Affected by Adult ADHD. In R.A. Barkley (Ed.), Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Fourth Edition, 795-825.

Key Tips from the Reading Material:

1. Share Chores – Incentivize follow-through on shared responsibilities.
2. Learn Active Listening – Develop active listening skills through available resources.
3. Communicate Needs – Communicate your needs, discuss “relationship accommodations,” and express desires.
4. Avoid Dominating Conversations – Be mindful not to dominate conversations by checking in on the person and the information they are asking about; encourage balanced dialogue.
5. Use a Planner System – Update your calendar or planner system to remember dates and appointments.
6. Patience in Confrontations – Count to 10 before responding to confrontational situations.
7. Identify Helpful and Hurtful Behaviours – Understand what is helpful and what is hurtful in your interactions.

By integrating these strategies into daily life, individuals with ADHD can enhance their ability to form and maintain meaningful connections, fostering a positive and supportive social environment.

Strengthening already Existing Platonic Bonds:

1. When you can, shoot a message to that special person. Even a quick “thinking of you” works wonders for keeping long term friendships alive.
2. Carve out time to connect. Let your friend know if you need some flexibility with start/end times of your hangouts, do your best to show up, and be true to your word.
3. Automate periodic reminders for quality time on your e-calendar setup that repeat at scheduled time intervals (ex. monthly, bi-weekly). Automating the calendar to auto-invite the friend in question via email is a bonus and helps maximise accessibility.
4. Nurture bonds with those who accept, understand and/or share your unique ADHD traits, such as proneness to forget things, possible tardiness, zoning out in conversation occasionally, and having atypical sensory habits (fidgeting).
5. Keep things interesting. By incorporating movement and varying up your activities when spending time together, you can keep boredom at bay and briefly boost your executive functioning while doing it. This can look like baking, outdoor activities, seasonal sports, or even hobbies and games that require using the hands.
6. Make quality time accessible. Need to run errands? Invite your friend along (assuming they’re nearby and don’t have children). Need to tidy the house? Plug in some headphones/earbuds, phone them, and get to work.
7. Respect your own and their boundaries. Ask yourself how what you’d like to share will contribute to your time together. Consider your audience. Will you be mulling over their reception of things you share in a month? Three months? Is this a space you feel comfortable from 1-10 (least-most comfortable)? If not 10/10, where in the scale do you find yourself around them? How can you address this? Do you want to?

References

1 Maintaining Effective Intimate Relationships: Pera, G. (2014). Counseling Couples Affected by Adult ADHD. In R.A. Barkley (Ed.), Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Fourth Edition, 795-825.

2 Ginapp, C. M., Greenberg, N. R., Macdonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships and online communities: A qualitative study. SSM. Qualitative research in health, 3, 100223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmqr.2

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Longitudinal studies show, time and time again, that having a thriving social network is associated with higher life satisfaction, stronger immune system function, and a longer life expectancy (Harris-Lane et al., 2021). In fact, people who report feeling socially connected show lower levels of anxiety and depression (Harris-Lane et al., 2021). Having a strong sense of social connection also tends to manifest in higher self-esteem and higher empathy for others. Such are two factors that feed into this feedback-loop of connection that help to further advance current or future relationships. But, what do we take from all of this as predominantly Neurodivergent readers? The answer to that question is not simple, and we will discuss a bit about why that is.

What is ADHD and what does it have to do with social connectedness?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition present from birth that influences the development of many brain regions and imbalances in neurochemicals, resulting in impairment in executive functioning skills (Blake, 2020). ADHD involves lifelong differences in regulating attention and age-inappropriate levels of hyperactivity-impulsivity. It is present in 2-7% of the population. Contrary to common belief, the first recognition of this medical condition dates back to 1775, which is to say that this neuro-difference is nothing but new.  Relevant diagnostic criteria (in past editions of the DSM) indicate that ADHDers experience an impairing level of difficulty focusing on conversations, not interrupting others, knowing how much is too much to share, “having a filter,” and exercising self-awareness in various situations. These can make interacting with others a challenging ordeal and expend tremendous amounts of their capacity to self-regulate across other tasks in their day-to-day life. This begs the question of how ADHDers can find fulfilling connections that endure the test of time. It also seems to complicate the journey of how to find and keep meaningful connections in their life despite the hurdles that their biological differences place in the way.

Most people recognize that meaningful connection is founded on mutual respect, active listening, empathy, truth and trust. What evade conversation is how to find and keep relationships that endorse those values, especially as neurodivergent who naturally communicate with a different approach. Interestingly, ADHD individuals have more challenges with interpreting the facial expressions of others and tend to over-emote with their own facial expressions, often exaggerating what they communicate. Sources such as reading materials, therapy, and medication are helpful options when it comes to conversational nuances and social norms that can quickly get confusing.

When you begin to investigate many aspects of ADHD, it becomes understandable why someone with this neuro-difference may have difficulties with making and keeping friendships alive. This difficulty with social relationships can be traced back to many sources that impact ADHDers. Among these are the proneness for low self-esteem, a tendency to boredom, and the repercussions of adverse experiences. Consequently, many ADHDers may wind up tolerating less than they deserve and enduring undue abuse at work, at home or at school. For some, these consequences look like many failed marriages or affairs. Contrary to the aforementioned “loop of connection” these factors cultivate a cycle of exacerbated low self-esteem and create fruitful grounds for less than nurturing future social connections. But yet again, how can ADHDers find respite from this cycle and make room for the myriad benefits that strong social connections can bring into their lives? Please see our separate blog post on the topic for specific tips on how to find, keep and nurture friendships when you have ADHD.

References

Harris-Lane L, Hesson J, Fowler K, and Harris N. (2021). Positive mental health in youth with ADHD: Exploring the role of social support. Canadian Journal of Community Mental Health, 40, 35-51.

The post Part I: Navigating ADHD: The Power and Pain of Connecting appeared first on Street Therapy and Counselling.

Published: August 2nd 2023

OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is often used as a humorous sentiment for people who like perfection, or for people who have a focus on cleaning, organization, or rigid parameters for themselves. While OCD may encompass some of these qualities, the experience of OCD is far from a humorous experience, and in actuality is labelled as one of the top ten most debilitating illnesses noted by the WHO (World Health Organization). People with OCD often suffer with the disorder in silence – mostly because of the pervasive nature of the inaccurate depiction of OCD. While OCD occasionally includes rigidity, organization, cleaning, or perfection, it expands far beyond this.

OCD is characterized by:

• Obsessions -Persistent and intrusive unwanted images, urges or thoughts that cause distress or anxiety, resulting in compulsive behaviours or acts.
• Compulsions -Repetitive behaviour or mental acts that a person feels driven to perform as a result of the obsessions, intrusive thoughts, urges or images.
• Ego-dystonia -The experience of both obsessions and compulsions being UNWANTED by the person experiencing them.

OCD can include obsessions surrounding ANYTHING, and because of this, hides and masks itself as anxiety, depression, or other mental health disorders. Some of the following are types of OCD:

• Relationship OCD
• Pedophilia OCD
• Pure Obsessional OCD
• Hoarding OCD
• Symmetrical OCD
• Religious or “scrupulosity” OCD
• Just Right OCD
• Aggressive or Harm OCD

While this list is long, the realms of OCD are expansive, and everyone who experiences OCD has a distinct experience of the disorder. While it can be categorized into specific “types” or categories, individuals with OCD will tell you what compulsions work for them, and what do not – this can make OCD tricky to treat, but with years of study, there are evidence-based treatments that can be supportive in conjunction with medication – alongside the support of a trained clinician. One of the main treatment protocols for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) which aims to build tolerance to the obsessions and decrease the interactions with the compulsions. Up-and-coming treatments for OCD include Inference-Based CBT and Internal Family Systems – both of which can be used in conjunction with ERP.

Many people who are diagnosed with OCD are successful in their treatment and can live fulfilling lives; some people go as far in their treatment and healing to no longer fit the DSM-V criteria for the disorder. While OCD can feel like it has control over your life, the possibility of regaining control over your thoughts and actions is a reality. With time, dedication, and a supportive practitioner, you can move forward in your life and find the security and fulfilment you deserve.

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In therapy, I am often asked questions like “Why did I react like that?” “Why do some emotions feel so intense?” Although there are several explanations for these questions, one that is relevant for many of my clients relates to the voice inside their heads.

At times, you may be caught in a negative thought spiral – you start with one negative thought, which leads to several others, and you are left overthinking and wondering about worst-case scenarios. For example, you get in an argument with your partner in the morning before you each go to work. As the day progresses and you have not heard from them, you begin to question the relationship. You end up thinking the relationship is going to end and find yourself overwhelmed with worries about how this will impact your future, like finding a new place to live, dividing shared belongings, finances, and mutual friends. Now you notice that your heart is beating fast, you feel warm, and you are on high alert. This is an example of how our thoughts can create a physiological stress reaction. Being stuck in these thinking patterns can not only take a toll on our overall mental and physical health, but they can lead us to act in ways that also impact our lives.

To help beat our negative thoughts, we need to shift the way we think so it is more clear, calm, and more constructive. Try asking yourself these questions that will allow you to pull back and put the situation in a distanced perspective:

• What advice would I give someone else? Try applying the advice you would give to a friend to yourself.
• What would a fly on the wall see?
• Could there be another way of looking at this?
• What meaning might I be applying to the event that leads me to react in this way?
• How will I feel about this one week from now, one month from now, a year from now?

Another strategy to address negative thinking patterns is to recognize, take a breath, and disrupt. If you notice yourself feeling stuck inside your head and/or experiencing the symptoms of a stress response, ask yourself if you are in a negative thought spiral. If the answer is yes, try breathing techniques to help slow the body’s stress response. To further help disrupt the pattern, try introducing movement and/or changing the scenery.

If you find yourself having negative thinking patterns, it’s helpful to remind yourself that you are not alone in this experience. Many people have spiraling thoughts at times. Practicing self-compassion is another helpful tool to have more healthy and constructive inner chatter.

By Hailey Kolpin

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